about myself

Since Sean and I have been together (almost four years, good grief!) we haven't spent many nights apart.  One or two here and there when I visit friends or family, or Sean is too intoxicated or tired to traverse driving over the hill late at night.

Usually I marvel in the magic that are nights to myself.  You mean I can stay up until 3:00a watching Netflix Instant and finishing my scarf?  Right on!  (I actually did this, see below.)

But when I came home from LA all by my lonesome (we drove down together on Wednesday and I flew home on Friday) and was faced with four nights by myself (Sean continued down the coast to San Diego to visit his best friend who's stationed there) I was a bit worn out by the end of it.  I discovered a few things about myself in the process.

One, grocery shopping for yourself is much more fun than grocery shopping for two.  We had no food when I came home so I decided to treat myself to a Trader Joe's run to hold me over for a few days.  I bought edamame, meatless corn dogs, more fruit than I'll ever be able to eat, waffles, two bags of spinach, and a chocolate bar.  Oh, and goat cheese cheddar.  OH MAN.  I did NOT buy salame, chicken, beef tamales, chicken pot pies, or pork microwavable burritos.  It was liberating.

Two, I really like being alone during the day.  From the time I wake up until around 7:00p I am good to pour myself into work and play and creativity.  But by the time later dinner time rolls around I am ready to unwind with a glass of wine and a yummy meal and talk about my day and his day.  I never realized how important it is to my business and creative process to have someone to bounce ideas off of... Just to say them out loud is helpful (although Mops didn't have any good ideas to contribute so I'm going to say that a human to bounce ideas off of is marginally important).

Three, Chinese food for breakfast makes me groggy and stuffed up all day long.

And four, I remembered what it was like to finish a really good book.  Lately I've been reading things like How to Start a Business, My Life In France, In Defense of Food, and many other informational books about being your own boss, travel, and food.  While I was on the plane I made some headway in a fantasy book that's been sitting on my shelf for a month and a day later I finished it and three days later I'm still seeing changelings climbing the trees in my backyard.  It's been so long since I've read something purely for fun and I'm never going back informational texts only.

Moral of the story is, I missed Sean but was grateful for a glimpse of what my life would be without him.

I think I'll keep him.