living genuinely
with passion for the small things (yerba mate lattes, a moment of tai chi in the sun, organic apples)
being mindful of my temple and our mother
and keep a desire for more (better, different, change)
learn
and share (books, knowledge, self, energy, heart)
create something(s) beautiful
respect the attitudes (differences, dreams, hopes, incompatibilities, energies) of others
authentically
Showing posts with label brie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brie. Show all posts
Friday, July 2, 2010
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
A note on my relationship with the weather.
When you work in a box, a cube, a building with artificial light, the weather is inconsequential. Sometimes it's dark and raining when you walk to your car, sometimes light and warm, but generally the weather is not part of your day to day routine. Heating and air conditioning keeps your body at a consistent temperature and fluorescent lighting does not signal a change of time.
Since working from home I've noticed a shift in my relationship with the weather (and with time). I rarely look at the clock throughout the day, but rather notice the shifts of light on my hardwood floors. My body naturally wants to slumber at 1:30a and wake up once at 6:15a and then again at 9:00a. At 11:15a (when the light begins to touch the windowsill in my kitchen) I have breakfast and my second cup of tea. When the morning breeze settles into a quiet stillness in the trees and the fog lifts from its sleep (around 12:30p) I venture out into the light for a walk with the pups. Then I find the rhythm of work until the light turns yellow (around 3:30p) and I pause for a cup of tea and to browse recipes for dinner. When the sun no longer shines on my herb garden in the front yard I know to get up from my desk and begin dinner where the lobster and I eat and play a game and catch up on our days. The light then disappears behind the mountain and it is 7:30p and time to get to work again. When the frogs start gossiping with the owls I close my laptop and pick up a book or watch a movie until my eyes close and I shan't awake until the light changes again.
Now, there is something to be said for the feeling of your feet firmly planted in the earth. It is mostly lovely to be so connected with the ways of the sun and moon.
But what happens when you've becomes so at peace with the weather that it becomes an intimate emotional relationship? I take great offense to days where it is too hot to sleep, and even more offense to days that feel unstable. First sunny then rainy in less than an hour? How am I supposed to deal with that? Where do the days belong that are foggy all day long, where do I belong? And what of the days that are sticky with humidity and the tropical breeze blows and the last thing I want to do is sit in front of a whirring laptop in a stale and still house? When I need the wildness of a mountain creek or the gentle movement of waves upon the sand? I have to go adventuring (and maybe abandon working for a while) to find the movement I need to set my days by.
To be so grounded in the weather is a blessing, but sometimes I feel like the weather and I need to take a break.
P.S. The weather was sunny and perfect for drying wool on Saturday so there is a shop update today at noon PST.
P.P.S Chris, I only thought it appropriate to grant you your wish on your birthday. Happy birthday, I'm so glad to call you my friend. Oh, and I stole this photo from your facebook, it's one of my favorites.
Rainy days in the garden
Since working from home I've noticed a shift in my relationship with the weather (and with time). I rarely look at the clock throughout the day, but rather notice the shifts of light on my hardwood floors. My body naturally wants to slumber at 1:30a and wake up once at 6:15a and then again at 9:00a. At 11:15a (when the light begins to touch the windowsill in my kitchen) I have breakfast and my second cup of tea. When the morning breeze settles into a quiet stillness in the trees and the fog lifts from its sleep (around 12:30p) I venture out into the light for a walk with the pups. Then I find the rhythm of work until the light turns yellow (around 3:30p) and I pause for a cup of tea and to browse recipes for dinner. When the sun no longer shines on my herb garden in the front yard I know to get up from my desk and begin dinner where the lobster and I eat and play a game and catch up on our days. The light then disappears behind the mountain and it is 7:30p and time to get to work again. When the frogs start gossiping with the owls I close my laptop and pick up a book or watch a movie until my eyes close and I shan't awake until the light changes again.
My view in March
Now, there is something to be said for the feeling of your feet firmly planted in the earth. It is mostly lovely to be so connected with the ways of the sun and moon.
Morning sun
But what happens when you've becomes so at peace with the weather that it becomes an intimate emotional relationship? I take great offense to days where it is too hot to sleep, and even more offense to days that feel unstable. First sunny then rainy in less than an hour? How am I supposed to deal with that? Where do the days belong that are foggy all day long, where do I belong? And what of the days that are sticky with humidity and the tropical breeze blows and the last thing I want to do is sit in front of a whirring laptop in a stale and still house? When I need the wildness of a mountain creek or the gentle movement of waves upon the sand? I have to go adventuring (and maybe abandon working for a while) to find the movement I need to set my days by.
To be so grounded in the weather is a blessing, but sometimes I feel like the weather and I need to take a break.
P.S. The weather was sunny and perfect for drying wool on Saturday so there is a shop update today at noon PST.
P.P.S Chris, I only thought it appropriate to grant you your wish on your birthday. Happy birthday, I'm so glad to call you my friend. Oh, and I stole this photo from your facebook, it's one of my favorites.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Three years.
This is my favorite photo of us... Taken 2.5 years ago at his birthday party.Mr Lobster and I have been together for 3 years today. We have a cool (and a little bit tragic) story about how we got together, but I'll spare you. Instead, behold the reasons I love this man (this is by no means a comprehensive list, just the reasons that are weighing heavily on my mind today). Besides being the kindest, sweetest, and most inherently good person I know, I love my honey because...
... He does the laundry for all of us and doesn't ruin anything. And he gives the dogs baths when he cleans their bedding so they don't stink it up again. And he takes the garbage out before I even think about saying that it's full.
... He makes the most amazing goat cheese and tomato quesadillas ever.
... He stayed home from work for two days to be here with the animals in case of evacuation while I went and played with my favorite ladies. Then he cleaned the house so I could spend all day today spinning my new roving and dealing with the stress in my own way.
... He thinks that the anniversary presents we got each other (sleeping bags that zip together and a new tent) are just as romantic as I do.
... He buys me potted flowers so that I can plant them in our garden and enjoy them longer than freshly cut flowers.
... He can untangle any yarn knot I plop in his lap. And he doesn't complain when I ask him to ball my yarn for me. Nor does he complain about the sheer amount of yarn there is in this house and just smiles complacently when more comes in the mail.
... When I rearrange the house or re-paint the bathroom/bedroom/living room he nods in agreement (even when he knows how much grief it will cause him to have to move a chair to open the refrigerator and that I'll be changing things again next week).
And I love him because even though some days we want to strangle each other, our life together is just heavenly.
Happy anniversary, babe.
Friday, July 24, 2009
These are the thoughts...
Impulsive and new hair! Pixie like and soon to be fire engine red.
Regina Spektor (music vid link) reminds me of beginnings and dreamy sorts of stories.
Knitting projects are coming right along... Cast on a nice miski hat for a swap and the minty mitts are looking pretty fabulous. I've sort of run into a block with these because I've finished the first leaves and it's all easy from here on out. Once I figured out which colors to cable with the pattern became easy. I think I'm doing the back twists in the incorrect colors but I sort of like the way it looks. Makes the leaves more authentic (or I really hate it and I'm justifying the mistake so that I don't have to frog all of that hard work).
Today is farmer's market day and spend time with Mr Lobster (urchin and lobster... sea creatures... get it?) so I'll be back tomorrow to do the Things I Love on Sunday (thinking of changing the day to Monday since Sean and I switched our days off together and now I spend Monday working and Sunday playing). Okay, breakfast time for me! Have a relaxing and lovely Sunday!
Regina Spektor (music vid link) reminds me of beginnings and dreamy sorts of stories.
Knitting projects are coming right along... Cast on a nice miski hat for a swap and the minty mitts are looking pretty fabulous. I've sort of run into a block with these because I've finished the first leaves and it's all easy from here on out. Once I figured out which colors to cable with the pattern became easy. I think I'm doing the back twists in the incorrect colors but I sort of like the way it looks. Makes the leaves more authentic (or I really hate it and I'm justifying the mistake so that I don't have to frog all of that hard work).
Today is farmer's market day and spend time with Mr Lobster (urchin and lobster... sea creatures... get it?) so I'll be back tomorrow to do the Things I Love on Sunday (thinking of changing the day to Monday since Sean and I switched our days off together and now I spend Monday working and Sunday playing). Okay, breakfast time for me! Have a relaxing and lovely Sunday!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Today.
Good friends.
Chris came to visit today!
Good documentaries.
Go see Food, Inc. It was good. The message is important.
Good food.
Jalepeno and cream cheese veggie burger (leftovers given to a spritely and pleasant gypsy).
Good books.
The Jungle Effect by Daphne Miller
Good music.
Emmy the Great
Good day.
in which I captured no moments through a lens
in which "how doth the crocodile improve its shining tail" tumbles around my brain
in which knitting is frustrating and takes a back seat to the written word
in which we are happy.
Chris came to visit today!
Good documentaries.
Go see Food, Inc. It was good. The message is important.
Good food.
Jalepeno and cream cheese veggie burger (leftovers given to a spritely and pleasant gypsy).
Good books.
The Jungle Effect by Daphne Miller
Good music.
Emmy the Great
Good day.
in which I captured no moments through a lens
in which "how doth the crocodile improve its shining tail" tumbles around my brain
in which knitting is frustrating and takes a back seat to the written word
in which we are happy.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Hi folks.
A little crafty and not so crafty update.
Some things I'm loving today:
... Fall colors... Oh how I long for autumn!
... Emiliana Torrini. This lovely mentioned her on her blog this morning and I'm completely obsessed now. She voice reminds me a bit of Chantal Kreviazuk and Stephanie Dosen.
... Learning a new technique specifically for a very special woman's birthday.
... My grapefruit green tea (and Ally if you're reading this please oh please can you restock me??)
... This hat hasn't left my head since it came off the needles.
... The quiet moments before Sean gets out of bed and the kittens are loose and the dogs are running around the house waiting for breakfast. I like to steal these moments for myself (and for you this morning). Side note: I love my honey but how is it possible that one human being can make so much NOISE?
... Want to knit some pretty berets for the coming season in reds, golds, and oranges.
... My house is so much better when kittens are involved. Imagine sitting on the couch doing homework with this next to you? Speaking of homework. I got an A on my humanities test. Go me! I'm actually studying!
... Excited that next weekend we get to go up to the city on a field trip to the SFMOMA. I'm looking forward to culture and inspiration. I love where we live (more on the possible move later) and these cities are full of extremely diverse people (creative people) but I find that the art around here isn't as inspiring as it once was... Partly because I see it all the time, but partly because the ideas seem stale to me.
Well, I suppose that's all for now. Sean is awake and grumbling about breakfast. It was kind of nice when we had no food... I didn't feel guilty about not going grocery shopping, but I do feel guilty not cooking. What does that say about me?
Probably that I have my mom's blood in me and I want to feed and fatten anything with a pulse. Have a super Monday!
Some things I'm loving today:
... Fall colors... Oh how I long for autumn!
... Emiliana Torrini. This lovely mentioned her on her blog this morning and I'm completely obsessed now. She voice reminds me a bit of Chantal Kreviazuk and Stephanie Dosen.
... Learning a new technique specifically for a very special woman's birthday.
... My grapefruit green tea (and Ally if you're reading this please oh please can you restock me??)
... This hat hasn't left my head since it came off the needles.
... The quiet moments before Sean gets out of bed and the kittens are loose and the dogs are running around the house waiting for breakfast. I like to steal these moments for myself (and for you this morning). Side note: I love my honey but how is it possible that one human being can make so much NOISE?
... Want to knit some pretty berets for the coming season in reds, golds, and oranges.
... My house is so much better when kittens are involved. Imagine sitting on the couch doing homework with this next to you? Speaking of homework. I got an A on my humanities test. Go me! I'm actually studying!
... Excited that next weekend we get to go up to the city on a field trip to the SFMOMA. I'm looking forward to culture and inspiration. I love where we live (more on the possible move later) and these cities are full of extremely diverse people (creative people) but I find that the art around here isn't as inspiring as it once was... Partly because I see it all the time, but partly because the ideas seem stale to me.
Well, I suppose that's all for now. Sean is awake and grumbling about breakfast. It was kind of nice when we had no food... I didn't feel guilty about not going grocery shopping, but I do feel guilty not cooking. What does that say about me?
Probably that I have my mom's blood in me and I want to feed and fatten anything with a pulse. Have a super Monday!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Hi World
I'm sitting here in my living room (next to my knitting, tea, camera, and kittens) and I've had a lot on my mind lately. Thought I'd share a real blog post instead of the frilly stuff for a change.
I've had a rampage of icky emotions swirling through out me these past days (weeks) and they haven't abated with time, which means they're real (they've stuck) and need to be explored (talked about, written about, drowned in).
There is a pull within me to see new places, have new adventures, start over as often as possible. Something in my blood craves change. New wind, new smells, new sights, new journeys. The idea of a brand new life (a new start) somehow calms me. For as long as I can remember there has been no question about whether or not I would stay put and sit still. Even as a kid I was the one always getting in trouble for going too far, too fast. My entire adult life has been filled with movement. From an apartment next to the train tracks to a remote 5 bedroom half an hour away (up a windy and treacherous dirt road) from the closest store. The idea of a new place. It does not fill me with anxiety over loneliness, jobs, money, new and old friends, the dreaded move. Instead I tend to overflow with excitement (dreams, peace, balance). I can't help it, nor do I want to. I view it as a gift that is bestowed upon a select few, "the searchers" (see side bar). I see this need (want, inherent attribute) as a virtue. I will undoubtedly see the world and see it well.
That being said, not only have a lived here (in one place, one city, one house) for over a year, my traveling means have diminished greatly with being laid off last summer. Money is tight with one income and day or weekend trips (or vacations to far off places) are just not in the cards. With this stagnation of body comes stagnation of spirit.
stuck
fat
lethargic
uninspired
dreary
Creative endeavors interest me for a fleeting moment and than disappear. Inspiration to beautify my space comes and then wanes just as quickly.
Have I resigned myself to this life? Have I turned this beautiful place into a cage? Do I see this for all time? What steps do I make to get to where I want to be? There are always steps.
Of course, I have a problem with those, too. Steps that seem right (go back to school, live off student loans, begin anew in a few years) on an intellectual level don't often feel right to the heart (guilt, I've already asked so much, it's all my fault for getting laid off, what can I do if the mail doesn't bring my check when I need it?) These steps that may seem to be leading a path in the right direction can feel oh so wrong. (The anxiety doesn't lay in finishing school, it lays in staying in one place until that happens, by the way.)
Dreams of big things.
A PhD and a teaching and writing career with summers off to explore the rest of the world.
Living in a colder climate where creativity flows freely as rain and rivers.
An RV and no destination.
All of these worries and anxieties will calm themselves in my heart, it will just take a while.
Oh, and if more people don't comment on my giveaway post I think I'll cut it off early. You don't have to promote if you don't want to... Just leave a little love!
I'll leave you with this:
A moment of bliss.
I've had a rampage of icky emotions swirling through out me these past days (weeks) and they haven't abated with time, which means they're real (they've stuck) and need to be explored (talked about, written about, drowned in).
There is a pull within me to see new places, have new adventures, start over as often as possible. Something in my blood craves change. New wind, new smells, new sights, new journeys. The idea of a brand new life (a new start) somehow calms me. For as long as I can remember there has been no question about whether or not I would stay put and sit still. Even as a kid I was the one always getting in trouble for going too far, too fast. My entire adult life has been filled with movement. From an apartment next to the train tracks to a remote 5 bedroom half an hour away (up a windy and treacherous dirt road) from the closest store. The idea of a new place. It does not fill me with anxiety over loneliness, jobs, money, new and old friends, the dreaded move. Instead I tend to overflow with excitement (dreams, peace, balance). I can't help it, nor do I want to. I view it as a gift that is bestowed upon a select few, "the searchers" (see side bar). I see this need (want, inherent attribute) as a virtue. I will undoubtedly see the world and see it well.
That being said, not only have a lived here (in one place, one city, one house) for over a year, my traveling means have diminished greatly with being laid off last summer. Money is tight with one income and day or weekend trips (or vacations to far off places) are just not in the cards. With this stagnation of body comes stagnation of spirit.
stuck
fat
lethargic
uninspired
dreary
Creative endeavors interest me for a fleeting moment and than disappear. Inspiration to beautify my space comes and then wanes just as quickly.
Have I resigned myself to this life? Have I turned this beautiful place into a cage? Do I see this for all time? What steps do I make to get to where I want to be? There are always steps.
Of course, I have a problem with those, too. Steps that seem right (go back to school, live off student loans, begin anew in a few years) on an intellectual level don't often feel right to the heart (guilt, I've already asked so much, it's all my fault for getting laid off, what can I do if the mail doesn't bring my check when I need it?) These steps that may seem to be leading a path in the right direction can feel oh so wrong. (The anxiety doesn't lay in finishing school, it lays in staying in one place until that happens, by the way.)
Dreams of big things.
A PhD and a teaching and writing career with summers off to explore the rest of the world.
Living in a colder climate where creativity flows freely as rain and rivers.
An RV and no destination.
All of these worries and anxieties will calm themselves in my heart, it will just take a while.
Oh, and if more people don't comment on my giveaway post I think I'll cut it off early. You don't have to promote if you don't want to... Just leave a little love!
I'll leave you with this:
A moment of bliss.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Today...
barbeque/friends/hot wings/dominoes/sunshine/iced tea/beach/sandcastles/wrestling/dogs/sushi/tea/rest
Monday, June 22, 2009
Morning conversations over tea.
Wherein I am sitting with my laptop on the recliner and Sean is curled up next to me with a book.
"What are we going to do today?" Me.
"Whatever you want." Sean.
"I want to go on a train ride."
"Okay."
A few minutes later...
"Let's go get some clam chowder." Me.
"Okay." Sean
"Or a long drive."
"Okay."
"Or a long drive to get clam chowder!"
"Okay."
A few minutes later...
"Let's go down to SLO and go to that Avila Farm place."
"Okay."
A few minutes later...
"Would you care if a UPS person came to your house to drop off packages and asked to use the restroom?" Me.
"No." Sean
"Me niether."
A few minutes later...
"Let's go to a museum."
"Okay."
"There's a live jazz place in Half Moon Bay that I was just reminded about. They have good caesar salad."
"Okay."
A few minutes later...
"Why were all the churches closed in that movie last night?" Me.
"Churches? In Troy?" Sean.
"Oh sorry, Angels and Demons"
"It was after visiting hours."
"Oh."
A few minutes later...
"Mystery Spot?"
"Okay."
... I'll let you know where we end up.
"What are we going to do today?" Me.
"Whatever you want." Sean.
"I want to go on a train ride."
"Okay."
A few minutes later...
"Let's go get some clam chowder." Me.
"Okay." Sean
"Or a long drive."
"Okay."
"Or a long drive to get clam chowder!"
"Okay."
A few minutes later...
"Let's go down to SLO and go to that Avila Farm place."
"Okay."
A few minutes later...
"Would you care if a UPS person came to your house to drop off packages and asked to use the restroom?" Me.
"No." Sean
"Me niether."
A few minutes later...
"Let's go to a museum."
"Okay."
"There's a live jazz place in Half Moon Bay that I was just reminded about. They have good caesar salad."
"Okay."
A few minutes later...
"Why were all the churches closed in that movie last night?" Me.
"Churches? In Troy?" Sean.
"Oh sorry, Angels and Demons"
"It was after visiting hours."
"Oh."
A few minutes later...
"Mystery Spot?"
"Okay."
... I'll let you know where we end up.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Summer Magic
Dinner of summerHearing...
Rocky bark like a maniac
My landlord yelling at Rocky barking like a maniac
Then saying "We have to have a talk, Rocky."
"Some Beach" on the stereo
Huck's claws on the deck outside as he chases flies
Marvin's yawns
The buzz of the fish tank
Flowers unfurling
Birds screaming at larger birds
Feeling...
A little warm and a little cold
Like the weather can sometimes bring more than hot and cold
Still
Anticipation
Inspiration
Yesterday seemed like the first day of summer to me. The uncertainty of a season change, the In N' Out Burger for dinner, the drink on the patio of a bar, the sweat on the sheets this morning, and finally walking around barefoot.
What's summer to you?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
"Patience is passion tamed."
Today I'm struggling with identities.
Identity is an interesting (and sometimes troublesome) thing. I try to view it as a jumbled, haphazard combination of emotion, soulfulness, actions, thoughts, and processes. All of these things are strings reaching from the universe and into your soul. At the core of every being, a knot of these things is formed, sometimes new threads (upbringing, events, emotional response to new situations, etc.) worm their way in and help to make the knot tighter and stronger and more jumbled. Soon the knot begins to felt, and the strings that would once find a weak spot to grab onto can no longer work their way into the core. Maybe a particularly tenacious experience can break down the felted wall a bit and then there is a small but potent hole. The hole begins to fill, felt, and again become hardened and stronger.
Identities can get lost quite easily. They're easy to ignore. They can sometimes get snagged by things like social roles, possessions, money, job status.
Mine has been snagged by household chores, by cooking dinner every night, by owning flowy skirts, by buying yarn, by homework and finals. The little pieces that have been sticking out of my knot (which is not even close to felting yet) have been unwound and turned into unsure emotions.
My identity rests firmly and solidly (shakily and restlessly) in things like
adventure
quick decision making
art
dance
using hands to create (or destroy)
the wind
museums
nature
activity
volunteering time and energy into helping other sentient beings
long drives to nowhere
time flying
tea
organic cookbooks
And lately my identity has been waylaid (time to step off the platform) by things like
making dinner every night when I'm not hungry
art supplies tucked away in storage
talking too much and acting too little
waiting
compromising
buying too much
cleaning the house before Sean gets home
feelings of self worthlessness
sitting on ideas for too long
long hours
soda and alcohol
doting upon a man
learning patience
I'd like to back to the first. How do you embrace both in order not to lose something (one) important to you? I'm tired of life lessons and long for the days of carefree creativity in the wee hours of the morning.
Struggling with things like identity today.
Title quote attributed to Lyman Abbott
Identity is an interesting (and sometimes troublesome) thing. I try to view it as a jumbled, haphazard combination of emotion, soulfulness, actions, thoughts, and processes. All of these things are strings reaching from the universe and into your soul. At the core of every being, a knot of these things is formed, sometimes new threads (upbringing, events, emotional response to new situations, etc.) worm their way in and help to make the knot tighter and stronger and more jumbled. Soon the knot begins to felt, and the strings that would once find a weak spot to grab onto can no longer work their way into the core. Maybe a particularly tenacious experience can break down the felted wall a bit and then there is a small but potent hole. The hole begins to fill, felt, and again become hardened and stronger.
Identities can get lost quite easily. They're easy to ignore. They can sometimes get snagged by things like social roles, possessions, money, job status.
Mine has been snagged by household chores, by cooking dinner every night, by owning flowy skirts, by buying yarn, by homework and finals. The little pieces that have been sticking out of my knot (which is not even close to felting yet) have been unwound and turned into unsure emotions.
My identity rests firmly and solidly (shakily and restlessly) in things like
adventure
quick decision making
art
dance
using hands to create (or destroy)
the wind
museums
nature
activity
volunteering time and energy into helping other sentient beings
long drives to nowhere
time flying
tea
organic cookbooks
And lately my identity has been waylaid (time to step off the platform) by things like
making dinner every night when I'm not hungry
art supplies tucked away in storage
talking too much and acting too little
waiting
compromising
buying too much
cleaning the house before Sean gets home
feelings of self worthlessness
sitting on ideas for too long
long hours
soda and alcohol
doting upon a man
learning patience
I'd like to back to the first. How do you embrace both in order not to lose something (one) important to you? I'm tired of life lessons and long for the days of carefree creativity in the wee hours of the morning.
Struggling with things like identity today.
Title quote attributed to Lyman Abbott
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Lookitwhatcameinthemailtoday!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Uninspiration.
Failed attemptSo I'm pretty good at finding inspiration. I have my rituals, my inspiring blogs and websites, lots of art supplies, textures to touch around me, life in my home.
First I look at my inspiration folder on my computer. Images, words, ideas I've saved over the months that resonated within me. Then I cook something (spinach and goat cheese grilled on sourdough wheat bread anyone?). I like that cooking takes raw ingredients (and usually organic ingredients, too) and creates something completely different. Art is like that, too. The structured process of cooking (melt cheese, wash spinach, butter bread, grill) usually helps me loosen my creative spirit. If that doesn't work I make the bed and do the dishes. So that I feel accomplished in the day. If that doesn't work, pull out yarn/paint/paper/pens/journals and play with them. Not actually creating, mind you, just touching, rearranging, organizing, and looking. Sometimes that doesn't work either. Then it's on to rearranging furniture and creating a better space for my body (and hopefully my mind will follow). Going for a walk sometimes helps. Meditation and a few yoga poses. Dusting the bookshelves.
But some days a Cary Grant movie, grilled cheese, and a little bit of knitting is the only way to get through the day.
Monday, May 11, 2009
How I've Been.
After a long week last week (see Death and Green beans), this week is proving to be full of different things. There's nothing like death to bring out the adventure in life.
Friday was a day of existential crises and conversations with good friends. I vowed the weekend would be better. A new beginning.
So on Saturday Sean and I went out for breakfast then decided not to go home to dishes and kittens and smelly dogs that need baths and floors that need sweeping. Instead, a drive through the mountains I used to call home, and a detour to a place Sean found one day while working on an installation off of Redwood Ridge.
An alpaca and llama farm! One day, my dears, I will love on a farm with all sorts of animals... Especially alpacas.
We then came home and took a nice nap in the late afternoon sun streaming through open windows. Then dinner with one of my favorite people and her favorite person (Michelle and Conrad). It was nice to be close to my tribe.
Yesterday and Monday were quiet and used for rejuvenation.
I've also been spending my time planning a canoeing trip for August (maybe Oregon?), knitting a beauty for my Mom, working up some of these lovelies, watching these little beasts grow into big beasts, ordering Sean's beautiful birthday present (can't recommend this etsy seller enough, he was a joy to work with), and working on some projects for my lovely Auntie.
And I hate to be so materialistic on this blog, but lookitmynewpants! They're so inspiring! I find I feel most like myself in tee's and tanks with nice flowy pants and skirts on the bottom. Keri Smith has a great article about uniforms in nontraditional sense, and it's been on my mind since I read it. I think I've found my uniform.
One more lovely from my days of rejuvenation.
Three skeins of this beautiful Malabrigo Silky Merino in such a gorgeous colorway. I am not normally attracted to this kind of color, but it was screaming to be a lacy scarf wrapped around the neck of someone beautiful. Maybe you?
I hope your week is in the spirit of healing and rejuvenation, adventure and inspiration.
Friday was a day of existential crises and conversations with good friends. I vowed the weekend would be better. A new beginning.
So on Saturday Sean and I went out for breakfast then decided not to go home to dishes and kittens and smelly dogs that need baths and floors that need sweeping. Instead, a drive through the mountains I used to call home, and a detour to a place Sean found one day while working on an installation off of Redwood Ridge.
An alpaca and llama farm! One day, my dears, I will love on a farm with all sorts of animals... Especially alpacas.
We then came home and took a nice nap in the late afternoon sun streaming through open windows. Then dinner with one of my favorite people and her favorite person (Michelle and Conrad). It was nice to be close to my tribe.
Yesterday and Monday were quiet and used for rejuvenation.
I've also been spending my time planning a canoeing trip for August (maybe Oregon?), knitting a beauty for my Mom, working up some of these lovelies, watching these little beasts grow into big beasts, ordering Sean's beautiful birthday present (can't recommend this etsy seller enough, he was a joy to work with), and working on some projects for my lovely Auntie.
And I hate to be so materialistic on this blog, but lookitmynewpants! They're so inspiring! I find I feel most like myself in tee's and tanks with nice flowy pants and skirts on the bottom. Keri Smith has a great article about uniforms in nontraditional sense, and it's been on my mind since I read it. I think I've found my uniform.
One more lovely from my days of rejuvenation.
Three skeins of this beautiful Malabrigo Silky Merino in such a gorgeous colorway. I am not normally attracted to this kind of color, but it was screaming to be a lacy scarf wrapped around the neck of someone beautiful. Maybe you?
I hope your week is in the spirit of healing and rejuvenation, adventure and inspiration.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Death and Green beans
Nona at her 92nd birthdayI would say that she'll come back as a crow. And I mean that in the nicest and most revered way. She's not cut out to be a human again quite yet, and crows are the smartest and most fantastic birds that exist. On the other hand, Nona was very wise and peaceful within herself, so maybe she's done this time around and got to go give her God a talkin' to about the state of things. I'm sure she'd be happy to give him a piece of her mind, she was never at a loss for opinion.
Death is a funny thing. So cyclic and natural and even soothing in some ways. The idea that it all comes back to home, it all comes back to a life force and that the vessel you travel in is just that. A vessel to carry your force.
So eat green beans with a pound of garlic and olive oil, walk barefoot, and drink red wine. Live to be 96 and vibrant.
Cheers, Nona.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Soul Questions
James Lipton has interviewed over 200 guests on Inside the Actor's Studio, but I'm not one of them. At the end of each interview, he asks his guests 10 questions (a la Bernard Pivot).
1. What is your favorite word?
Crepuscular. It means "being of twilight" which is my favorite time of day.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Toe.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Being unique, whole, and circular. Good colors and sweeping brush strokes. New ideas, guerilla art, quotable instances, pretty food, freshness, fish.
4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Staleness, stagnation, close-minded views, lack of want and emotion.
5. What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of a train, owls, bubbles, rain, waves, knitting needles clacking, wind.
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Loops, squeaking, teeth scraping against utensils.
7. What is your favorite curse word?
Bloody.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Traveling author, photographer... Being self employed is rather awesome, though.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
I never want to sit at a desk for 8 hours a day again.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, what kind of god or afterlife you believe in. I love you wholly and you are welcome here in my heaven."
1. What is your favorite word?
Crepuscular. It means "being of twilight" which is my favorite time of day.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Toe.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Being unique, whole, and circular. Good colors and sweeping brush strokes. New ideas, guerilla art, quotable instances, pretty food, freshness, fish.
4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Staleness, stagnation, close-minded views, lack of want and emotion.
5. What sound or noise do you love?
The sound of a train, owls, bubbles, rain, waves, knitting needles clacking, wind.
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Loops, squeaking, teeth scraping against utensils.
7. What is your favorite curse word?
Bloody.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Traveling author, photographer... Being self employed is rather awesome, though.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
I never want to sit at a desk for 8 hours a day again.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, what kind of god or afterlife you believe in. I love you wholly and you are welcome here in my heaven."
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Happy Thursday!
I like Thursdays around here. For some reason Thursdays seem to know what kind of weather would be perfect for me (for instance, this morning I awoke in the fog, no more than 60 degrees, and a nice wind. The perfect break from 80 degrees and flip flops.), what kind of news I need (financial aid is almost complete. I was getting worried since I hadn't heard anything for 3 months), and that solidarity isn't so bad.
Thursdays I spend alone, listening to the kind of music that makes me happy (today is Fleet Foxes and the Monsoon Wedding soundtrack and OH MY GOD both make me so happy), drinking Vanilla Chai, rearranging things for the weekend, knitting (still working on the shawl and started a picot brim hat with embellishment), and dreaming about what a pay day weekend will bring (is $34.99 too much to pay for one skein of yarn?). Sean is off tomorrow and Saturday, so anything I need to tie up needs to be done today, and I like it that way.
I really like Thursdays. I want to share some of my Thursday lovelies with you.
And I'm completely inspired by this darling thing:
And one more sweet thing for spring:
Have a magical weekend dear readers!
Thursdays I spend alone, listening to the kind of music that makes me happy (today is Fleet Foxes and the Monsoon Wedding soundtrack and OH MY GOD both make me so happy), drinking Vanilla Chai, rearranging things for the weekend, knitting (still working on the shawl and started a picot brim hat with embellishment), and dreaming about what a pay day weekend will bring (is $34.99 too much to pay for one skein of yarn?). Sean is off tomorrow and Saturday, so anything I need to tie up needs to be done today, and I like it that way.
I really like Thursdays. I want to share some of my Thursday lovelies with you.
And I'm completely inspired by this darling thing:
And one more sweet thing for spring:
Have a magical weekend dear readers!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Pieces of a Weekend
".......she couldnt help but wonder
if perhaps someone was not paying close attention on the day her soul was being designed... forgetting to add the extra cup of contentment for a ordinary life, sprinkling in too much wanderlust, undercooking her heart so that it remained
forever raw and tender."
-lovely words from the even lovelier jen gray whom always seems to speak to my heart
Monday, January 26, 2009
On haircuts.
I've been thinking about the progression of my hair over the years. Mostly because one of my new year resolutions was to donate it to a good cause. Like wigs for cancer patients. I've been rolling it over and over in my head. One of the biggest reasons I grew it this long in the first place was to donate it because that seems to be the cycle I follow. We'll see what happens.
Chronologically, a journey through my hair.
My own spin on the disaster hair. I liked it at this point. And this is true to what it looks like today. It's about 3 inches longer, but thick and wavy. And I'm still here in Felton (almost 10 months), living with my love, fostering kitties, finding peace in my own heart, and trying to make life work.
Moved to Felton, got a disasterous hair cut. I cried my eyes out. She had cut off more than I wanted and gave me layers. And bangs. Sean loved it, Ally loved it, Mom loved it. I vowed not to cut my hair again until I was ready to cut it all off.
This is the longest my hair had been since high school and I loved the length. Living with Sean in Campbell at our first apartment. We took a day off to go play hookie at the beach. I was working in an office environment and was craving something real. We were talking about moving to Felton, I traded the beamer in for a very cute VW Beetle named Phoebe.
2007. Hadn't cut my hair in about a year and wanted to keep it that way. Sean likes long hair. I was living in Corralitos at the time and having a great time socially, not so much professionally. Sean and I were talking about moving in together and I was thinking of changing professions. I had crashed the Focus into a telephone pole, bought a truck, sold the truck, and was driving an 88 BMW that was a blast to drive.
Winter of 2006, Sean and I had been dating for a few months now. I was living in an apartment near Santana Row... behind the Pink Poodle! I was moving to Santa Cruz for the first time and loving the idea.
Another in between long and short hair. This is right before Sean and I started dating and I was thinking about moving in with Jen. It was also back when my life was stable... before the years of inconsistent jobs and housing.
Another cut. This was a fantastic one, too. Around the same time I did this I began thinking about moving out and moving on.
This is the in between area. In this photo I was dating multiple guys, living in my first big kids apartment on Monterey, working emergency veterinary, partying on the weekends, and slipping into a different sort of life. I worked swing, got off work around 2:00a, went to sleep around 6:00a, woke around 2:00p and did it all over again, 4 days a week. The rest of the time I was painting and dreaming of faraway places and a true relationship.
I loved this hair cut. I had cut it short during a rotten relationship (partly out of spite, partly out of self discovery, partly out of jest) and donated it for the second time (?). I was working as a tech, dating a different emotional wreck of a boy, living back with my mom for a bit, and driving the Focus. That certain boy liked short hair.
About 7 years ago... This was during high school. I was dating my high school sweetheart, working at Petroglyph, traveling on the weekends, and driving the Mustang. It was a time of 7-Eleven Big Gulps, movie marathons at The Twin, and sneaking around parents.
Chronologically, a journey through my hair.
My own spin on the disaster hair. I liked it at this point. And this is true to what it looks like today. It's about 3 inches longer, but thick and wavy. And I'm still here in Felton (almost 10 months), living with my love, fostering kitties, finding peace in my own heart, and trying to make life work.
Moved to Felton, got a disasterous hair cut. I cried my eyes out. She had cut off more than I wanted and gave me layers. And bangs. Sean loved it, Ally loved it, Mom loved it. I vowed not to cut my hair again until I was ready to cut it all off.
This is the longest my hair had been since high school and I loved the length. Living with Sean in Campbell at our first apartment. We took a day off to go play hookie at the beach. I was working in an office environment and was craving something real. We were talking about moving to Felton, I traded the beamer in for a very cute VW Beetle named Phoebe.
2007. Hadn't cut my hair in about a year and wanted to keep it that way. Sean likes long hair. I was living in Corralitos at the time and having a great time socially, not so much professionally. Sean and I were talking about moving in together and I was thinking of changing professions. I had crashed the Focus into a telephone pole, bought a truck, sold the truck, and was driving an 88 BMW that was a blast to drive.
Winter of 2006, Sean and I had been dating for a few months now. I was living in an apartment near Santana Row... behind the Pink Poodle! I was moving to Santa Cruz for the first time and loving the idea.
Another in between long and short hair. This is right before Sean and I started dating and I was thinking about moving in with Jen. It was also back when my life was stable... before the years of inconsistent jobs and housing.
Another cut. This was a fantastic one, too. Around the same time I did this I began thinking about moving out and moving on.
This is the in between area. In this photo I was dating multiple guys, living in my first big kids apartment on Monterey, working emergency veterinary, partying on the weekends, and slipping into a different sort of life. I worked swing, got off work around 2:00a, went to sleep around 6:00a, woke around 2:00p and did it all over again, 4 days a week. The rest of the time I was painting and dreaming of faraway places and a true relationship.
I loved this hair cut. I had cut it short during a rotten relationship (partly out of spite, partly out of self discovery, partly out of jest) and donated it for the second time (?). I was working as a tech, dating a different emotional wreck of a boy, living back with my mom for a bit, and driving the Focus. That certain boy liked short hair.
About 7 years ago... This was during high school. I was dating my high school sweetheart, working at Petroglyph, traveling on the weekends, and driving the Mustang. It was a time of 7-Eleven Big Gulps, movie marathons at The Twin, and sneaking around parents.
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